How dumb are the questions?The particular question that inspired the post was whether or not the money a customer had sent was, in fact, there. The customer had send a status of funds verifying that they sent the funds, so… I had to go run the same report the customer sent her showing that the funds were there. The entire globe uses the same financial system, so… literally the same report in the same system.
Nicki Minaj The Feminist: All the girls will come in as long as they understand that I’m fighting for the girls that never thought they could win.Cause before they could begin you told them it was the end, but I am here to reverse the curse that they live in.
Successfully battling a sugar addiction or being nice to colleagues when
they ask dumb questions?
Just a reminder:
When Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) was travelling on the road with his cousin, Al-Fadl ibn Abbas, a woman stopped him to ask him a question. The woman was very beautiful, and Al-Fadl couldn’t help but stare at her.
Seeing this, Prophet Muhammad reached out his hand and turned his cousin’s face away.
He didn’t tell the woman to cover her face.
He didn’t tell her to change her clothing.
He didn’t tell her that her appearance was too tempting or indecent.
He averted his cousin’s impolite stare.
So my father-in-law (not my MIL’s husband; not a man my husband enjoys
talking to or about) does this thing where when he emails my husband, he
emails like… military & personal accounts & cellphone.
I have just been included on one of these mass emails and I am cracking up
at my desk.
(Sorry, I love the Olds and their use of electronic mail.)
I knew I was right?
You didn’t have to call me.
Sorry if I was unclear on that point.
I already knew I was right.
Flicking up the V: Emma put her two fingers up to the camera when Stephen Fry made a cheeky remark directed towards the actress
(From Matthew 6)
Be careful not to do ‘good works’ in front of others. Don’t do them to be seen by others. If you do, your Father in heaven will not reward you. When you give to needy people, do not announce it by having trumpets blown. Do not be like those who only pretend to be holy. They announce what they do in the synagogues and on the streets. They want to be honored by others. What I’m about to tell you is true. They have received their complete reward. When you give to the needy, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Then your giving will be done secretly. Your Father will reward you. He sees what you do secretly.
When you pray, do not be like those who only pretend to be holy. They love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners. They want to be seen by others. What I’m about to tell you is true. They have received their complete reward. When you pray, go into your room. Close the door and pray to your Father, who can’t be seen. He will reward you. Your Father sees what is done secretly. When you pray, do not keep talking on and on the way ungodly people do. They think they will be heard because they talk a lot. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need even before you ask him.
When you go without eating, do not look gloomy like those who only pretend to be holy. They make their faces very sad. They want to show people they are fasting. What I’m about to tell you is true. They have received their complete reward. But when you go without eating, put olive oil on your head. Wash your face. Then others will not know that you are fasting. Only your Father, who can’t be seen, will know it. He will reward you. Your Father sees what is done secretly.
When [an abusive man] tells me that he became abusive because he lost control of himself, I ask him why he didn’t do something even worse. For example, I might say, “You called her a fucking whore, you grabbed the phone out of her hand and whipped it across the room, and then you gave her a shove and she fell down. There she was at your feet where it would have been easy to kick her in the head. Now, you have just finished telling me that you were ‘totally out of control’ at that time, but you didn’t kick her. What stopped you?” And the client can always give me a reason. Here are some common explanations:
"I wouldn’t want to cause her a serious injury."
“I realized one of the children was watching.”
“I was afraid someone would call the police.”
“I could kill her if I did that.”
“The fight was getting loud, and I was afraid the neighbors would hear.”
And the most frequent response of all:
"Jesus, I wouldn’t do that. I would never do something like that to her.”
The response that I almost never heard — I remember hearing it twice in the fifteen years — was: “I don’t know.”
These ready answers strip the cover off of my clients’ loss of control excuse. While a man is on an abusive rampage, verbally or physically, his mind maintains awareness of a number of questions: “Am I doing something that other people could find out about, so it could make me look bad? Am I doing anything that could get me in legal trouble? Could I get hurt myself? Am I doing anything that I myself consider too cruel, gross, or violent?”
A critical insight seeped into me from working with my first few dozen clients: An abuser almost never does anything that he himself considers morally unacceptable. He may hide what he does because he thinks other people would disagree with it, but he feels justified inside. I can’t remember a client ever having said to me: “There’s no way I can defend what I did. It was just totally wrong.” He invariably has a reason that he considers good enough. In short, an abuser’s core problem is that he has a distorted sense of right and wrong.
I sometimes ask my clients the following question: “How many of you have ever felt angry enough at youer mother to get the urge to call her a bitch?” Typically half or more of the group members raise their hands. Then I ask, “How many of you have ever acted on that urge?” All the hands fly down, and the men cast appalled gazes on me, as if I had just asked whether they sell drugs outside elementary schools. So then I ask, “Well, why haven’t you?” The same answer shoots out from the men each time I do this exercise: “But you can’t treat your mother like that, no matter how angry you are! You just don’t do that!”
The unspoken remainder of this statement, which we can fill in for my clients, is: “But you can treat your wife or girlfriend like that, as long as you have a good enough reason. That’s different.” In other words, the abuser’s problem lies above all in his belief that controlling or abusing his female partner is justifiable…."
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via seebster)
Just got a purchase request that makes me fear that my job title is
Because you have got to be kidding me.
And you just have to invoke Thumper’s mom and keep your eyerolling to
But I mean.
I was having a really great day until I saw something on facebook about a mother losing her baby at 2 months old and now I’m a hot crying mess.
- lobsteroverlord asked:Hi, I was just wondering what you think of "thin shaming" e.g., calling someone who is naturally thin anorexic and saying "men like meat not bones" do you think that it is actually discriminatory?
i’m going to pretend this is a good faith question even though we both know it’s not. haha. don’t say i never did anything for you ! this post is...